New Year’s Eve is an interesting thing. There’s a lot of hype…hype about “starting over” like the previous year gets erased when the next one begins. I’ve never been one to get into that side of things, but I can acknowledge it as being like a new chapter and hitting “save” and “print” on the previous one to put into the book. I think maybe this past “chapter” has been my favorite one thus far even though it was difficult at times. Maybe I don’t fully understand why I feel compelled to write a little something about it, but I do and I have a point so here we are.
Last year I came up with this idea to write a little something about everyday. That literally lasted until January 3rd… However, I managed to find what I did actually write and I took note of what I had to say on New Years Day of 2015. Although mostly a blurred distant memory now, I certainly didn’t think 2014 was that great. To skip the chatter, 365 days ago I was fed up with having to miss so many people due to distance and I was straight up “absolutely terrified” to accept who I was and what I wanted to do in life. Apparently I was pretty bleak about things.
I was totally unaware of what I was in for this past rollercoaster of a year. I will not be giving a play-by-play life story but boy did I learn things are capable of shifting. It was a bit of a process but I think it’s the year I truly grasped the concept of what love is like, and by that I mean… I learned about the receiving side. I’m not saying no one ever loved me or I never loved anyone before this, but I am saying I don’t think I let myself “accept” it. Back in March I talked to someone about all kinds of stuff I was dealing with within myself and she said the words “You’re worth it.” I swear for the first time I believed it. That’s when everything started to change. Maybe it’s easier to love other people than to let yourself accept it from other people.
From there I was straight up honest with myself about what I needed to do and who I wanted to be. Fast-forward to now and I feel more surrounded by love than I ever have. Sometimes I don’t know what to make of it. I’m closer to family members and I’ve somehow stumbled into having friends who’s existence feels kind of impossible most days. A couple of them seemed to have fallen out of the sky, but I definitely will not complain. It's certainly been a year of several good conversations with friends in coffee shops. I've learned if you’re honest with other people, you give them the chance to be honest back.
Maybe the point I want to make here is this: Be honest and be who you are, whoever that is. I’m not saying it’s a “cure all” life solution, but it did me some good this past go around so maybe it can do something for you. It also in the end turns into being more about other people. By hiding any parts of ourselves, we hinder others from truly being able to show us their true selves and their love for us. Open that door. I promise you will literally feel the love more when you go through it, thus allowing you to love more yourself. After all, "You're worth it."